"Mom, can I be your waiter? Because I have a name tag."
And apparently he's already been paid, so that's always a plus.
Auntie Jill's Foot
Grant: Where did Auntie Jill's owie come from?
Me: She fell down.
Grant: No, hermit crab pinched it.
Me: A hermit crab pinched her fot?
Grant: I fink so.